No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
