he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
