when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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