some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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