I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
