Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm like, not good at living.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
