I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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