how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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