.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
