Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
