i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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