i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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