When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
