drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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