Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The adults are the big ones right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
