I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
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