So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
