I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
