I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
