Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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