Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
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