Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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