Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
