Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You are a booty call, not a friend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
