we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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