In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
