How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
