All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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