Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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