We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize