Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
