HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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