U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
