You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
