oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize