He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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