you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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