I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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