Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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