piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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