My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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