And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize