remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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