The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
