how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
