He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
