u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He? As in you personified your dick?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
