I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
