She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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