allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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