Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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