there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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