thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
