You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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