Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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