you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
