apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize