I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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