Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
