i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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