just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize