I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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