I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
